Did the beta today. Which meant wandering around a large poorly labelled hospital campus in the freezing cold with icy and unshovelled sidewalks in 4 inch heels (ok I know I know, I figured there would be parking nearby but silly me forgot...this is Europe) for over an hour, until some doctor took pity on me and in broken English took me to the place that I was looking for. Which no rational human could have found, because it was under construction and labelled as the andrology clinic (huh?...ok?).
Anyways to make a long story short my HCG was at 16.4 and my progesterone at 11.9. Which basically is the tail end of my last Pregnyl (hormone) shot working its way out of my system, and definitely not a pregnancy. Although I do have to go back on Monday and they'll redo the bloodwork to see if it has gone up. Personally I am just hoping that my period hits full force between now and then and I can call it a day. What a waste of my life and energy this whole process has become! And tbh I don't even care what the result is, I just want to know so that I can move on, one way or the other. Actually after witnessing a 2 year old have a complete meltdown in a crowded store today I think I am leaning towards a negative in any event. It is becoming very clear that at my age there are too many unknown variables in this process, and I don't feel like dealing with a pregnancy for a few months if I could even get that far, only to find out in the end that I need to have an abortion due to some chromosomal defect that doesn't become apparent until they do an amnio. No thanks.
I'll tune in again after Monday's test for what will hopefully be The Final Chapter (or maybe sooner if Mother Nature makes things very clear via a period), but I am thinking that in the battle of Me Vs. Nature, Nature won, and good on her I say - she can have it. I will send her my thanks as I am cruising the Autobahn in my A5 convertible and enjoying my life in other ways. :-)
Time to think about getting a dog...haven't ever seen one of those have a tantrum in a store!
Cheers and MERRY CHRISTMAS everyone, really, I do mean it!
PS No Xmas for us I am afraid, man is down for the count with the flu. Drag.
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